Sex magic and love magic
From antiquity to the present day, we can say that love magic and sex magic have been continuously present with little change in the development of thought and ritual. Currently, there are likely greater distinctions between the two, but this is not of major importance. In this article, we will briefly analyze the general aims and methods of these types of magic, since, although we have begun with generalizations, different cultures and societies have also presented many notable differences in some aspects.
To begin, we will point out that sex magic predates love magic. For this, we rely on the studies of anthropologists and prehistorians, who have verified that the representation of male and female genitalia had a magical character, in this case, related to fertility and nature. This is also sex magic, although its purpose is not sex. In historical societies such as the Greek, we continue to find agricultural rituals where vulvas or phalluses were carried in procession to guarantee good harvests, as well as their protection. The middle finger gesture, now considered an insult, originated as a phallic symbol with apotropaic purposes.
In India, a type of reddish jade is called the Shiva Lingam, the phallus of Shiva, and is considered an amulet for love and prosperity. We saw other examples of sexual magic, both benevolent and malevolent, in the article on Hindu feminine magic, Strikarmani, and in the Greek Magical Papyri.
To these aspects we must add the sexual act itself within a sacred context: male masturbation over crops, exposing the vulva to fields and rivers, as well as having sex in places deemed "auspicious," have been magical sexual acts found in many cultures across the globe. Consider, for example, the importance of ritual sex in various Egyptian and Mesopotamian priestly colleges, the reenactment of hierogamies, sacred prostitution… We also have much more symbolic examples, such as the burial of hearts in holes in the ground among the Bolivian Aymara, to "fertilize the earth or initiate menstrual bleeding," and thus help the fields yield good harvests.
Sexual magic has evolved, following primarily Eastern philosophies such as Taoism and Tantra, toward the use of sex as both a means and an end, but now focused less on the environment and more on oneself. Pleasure and orgasm are used from an energetic perspective, allowing one to manifest desires or transmit these energetic flows to a specific purpose or person. Similarly, some use sex as a form of purification or to activate chakras or energy centers. There are many forms of sexual magic, from masturbation to sex with others, always with an awareness of its ritualistic aspect. It often retains alchemical and agricultural ideas of the union of the masculine and feminine as a form of magical conjunction; however, the way sexuality is viewed today is so different that these masculine-feminine unions can be purely symbolic among practitioners.
In New Age religions such as Wicca and other esoteric and occult fields, great importance is given to female sexuality, especially in association with water, the moon, and its cycles. For some practitioners, a magical act may be masturbation or having sex on a specific schedule related to these cycles, as an offering or as a spell. Male participants can take part through acts such as the Gardnerian lowering of the moon, or by performing the same actions as the women, but in their case related to masculine forces such as the sun and fire.
Sexual and menstrual fluids are also occasionally used as ingredients in certain spells and ointments, usually in spells related to pregnancy and infertility, but primarily for erotic purposes, although this could be considered within the realm of love magic.
Love magic is characterized by having a more emotional aim, although it can also seek passionate and sexual union. According to Malinowski and Frazer, love magic develops when human beings transcend the need to procreate, moving towards the possibility of choosing a partner based on abilities, possessions, family, religion, etc. In other words, when they become social beings, in modern terms. At that point, it seems necessary for those who do not meet the desired standards to be able to manipulate the contracting parties. While it's commonly believed that women are the primary practitioners and practitioners of this type of magic, the number of male clients since ancient times contradicts this image. Furthermore, there are also records of love spells cast by men on women. It's as if requesting a love spell were so shameful that it was necessary to turn to the opposite sex for help, or perhaps it was based on the idea that this way the sorcerer better understands the characteristics of their victim (at least in heterosexual contexts, of course). Nowadays, sexuality and relationships have changed, and anyone can perform spells, regardless of the gender or sex of the caster, the person requesting the spell, or the intended recipient.
However, while sexual magic was more focused on personal work for individual and communal purposes, love magic involves manipulation, making ethical and moral considerations more prominent: Is it right to manipulate another person's feelings? Is it a selfish act on the part of the person requesting the spell?
It's worth noting that love magic relies much more on the manifestation and recitation of spells and incantations than on the simple act of magic itself. In these incantations, from ancient times to the present day, the predominant practice is to say aloud the name of the person to be enchanted and visualize them through the movement of the spell (for example, while tying a knot or turning an imaginary wheel to bring the person back). In simpler spells, such as those for finding a husband, visualization in bowls of water was sufficient.
Three key models stand out in love magic: the binding spell, the candle spell, and the potion spell. The first two are based on homeopathic or sympathetic magic, where like affects like. The potion spell is intended to affect through ingredients considered magical. These methods have astrological and herbal correspondences related to love. The love spell is considered the most powerful of the three, while the love potion or charm is considered the most complex but the weakest.
Currently, both love spells and candle spells, which are sometimes also called love spells due to their similarities, place special emphasis on the clear manifestation of what is desired. Before performing a love spell, purifications or meditations are carried out to concentrate on the feeling one seeks to transmit, in order to focus and enhance the results. Furthermore, the person must be 100% convinced of what they want: if they have doubts, or if the questionable morality of love spells affects them emotionally or psychologically, the spell will not be effective because it will also reflect those doubts.
Love spells work because they are symbolic ties. There have been love spells with physical knots since ancient times, using ropes, cloths, pieces of clothing, etc.; Two figurines or photographs of the people involved are also tied together, or instead of tying them, they are glued together with beeswax or honey, sweet and sticky elements that evoke a loving union.
If, on the other hand, the goal is to break up a relationship, whether because it is toxic or due to rivalry, then the opposite is done: symbolically untying or cutting the rope or knot that binds the parties involved. One of the best-known methods is to place two candles, one for each person, tied together with a piece of wool thread, and wait for the flames to reach the thread as the candles melt, burning it and leaving both candles untied. We will delve deeper into the use of candles a few paragraphs later.
We also find other ways to "bind" a person, for example, using a personal object, a fingernail, a strand of hair…: in the laws of magic, a part can represent the whole; therefore, it is believed that what happens to a small part of someone will affect the entirety. If an object or part of the other person is carried on one's person—whether in a small bag with a red crystal for passion, with love herbs, or a written message—or if a loving gesture has been recreated by keeping it somewhere protected and well cared for—such as an altar, under the pillow, or in a clay or cloth figurine—it is believed that the bewitched person will perceive the closeness and well-being, and will be affected by the elements of passion or love placed near that part of themselves.
Concealing the knots is an effective way to "ensure" the continuity of the spell, since if it is accidentally discovered or untied, the spell would lose its power.
The same thinking applies to curses: by mistreating one part of a person, that person would suffer an equivalent harm. In love magic, it's used against ex-partners or rivals.
Regarding the use of candles, they are almost exclusively red, as they evoke passion, love, and blood. They are also associated with the planet Mars, Venus's mythological lover, and with Venus itself, whose color as the morning star is also red. The use of candles is also linked to fire and the idea of "melting" for someone, as well as becoming malleable and manipulable, like hot wax. Candles can be used simply by lighting them for that purpose or by ritualizing them, writing the name of the loved one, attaching a photo or an object belonging to them, and covering them with oils, incense, or other symbols and objects related to love—for example, writing the symbol of Venus, drawing hearts, or adding rose cabochons, petals, etc.
The second most common way to use candles for love spells is to melt or buy a candle shaped like a man or woman, or at least a torso, where the sexual organs are visible. Candles shaped like male and female genitalia are also manufactured and sold. In these cases, the spell is primarily intended to arouse passion and sexual desire in the victims, provoking an uncontrollable longing for the other person. As with regular candles, these candles can be burned alone or with a photo, message, or other item belonging to the victim.
The wax remains in these cases are usually kept in a secret place. As long as this location remains undiscovered, the spell will continue to work, as mentioned earlier regarding love spells and knots. However, in this case, buried wax will be consumed, so unless it's buried in a flowerpot where a plant will be nourished or cared for, it's best not to hide it in this way. Likewise, if the spell loses its effectiveness, or if you wish to double its effect, the leftover wax from the first spell can be used in the second, as a way to enhance it, since it is wax from a successful spell. If the intention is to break up a relationship, then disposing of the wax by burying it in a dry or wild place, or throwing it into a stream of water, would be a good way to destroy it.
We now move on to what would be the most complex form of love magic, at least at a general knowledge level, which would be love potions. Love potions require prior study of the properties of each of the ingredients they will contain. Furthermore, it must be considered whether the potion will be used on oneself, to attract, or on the other person. Love potions can be drinks, oils, colognes… depending on their use.
Among the most commonly used ingredients are roses, as they are the flower of Aphrodite-Venus, and verbena; chocolate, as it is the quintessential sweet; Strawberries, considered aphrodisiacs; wine—alcohol in general—and coffee, stimulants; chili peppers, for their spiciness; honey or syrup, for their stickiness; cinnamon and vanilla…
These ingredients, which are reminiscent of those in Florida Water, can be added to drinks, food, desserts, and also used in essential oils, incense, creams, or balms. Other ingredients are not edible (or shouldn't be) and are only recommended for cauldron spells—that is, those that will be burned in the cauldron—or, failing that, for oils or colognes that won't have direct contact with the person, to avoid allergies and poisoning.
Among these ingredients are the ashes of a piece of paper on which love wishes have been written, sand that both people have walked on, as well as hair and nails (their own if the concoction is for love, the other person's if it's for attraction). Hair and nails were also used, in some cases, as saliva or blood. Menstrual blood, too.
In ancient times, urine and sweat were also commonly used. Of course, there was no shortage of ingredients from animals whose characteristics could be considered auspicious for lovemaking—see, for example, in medieval Europe: snakes, due to their association with the moon and their resemblance to the male member; bull or mare fat; frogs, due to their connection with rain… nor those from other animals that, according to various legendary sources, possessed some special property: such as lizards, associated with the hearth, which, when drowned in urine, were used in Roman magic. Or doves, a symbol of Venus, from which organs or droppings were taken, depending on what was easier to obtain.
Today, love magic is more symbolic and generally avoids animal suffering, replacing it symbolically. One of the common substitutes in Western esotericism and witchcraft, both in potions and Florida Water, are minerals. A rose quartz or amethyst for stability, a carnelian or red jasper for passion and fertility, and so on. These stones are washed before being added to the mixture, and depending on their intended use, they are either left in or not.
Love potions, whether in the form of drinks or colognes, etc., have only one "drawback": traditionally, creating an antidote potion seems more complex. For modern witchcraft, it would be as simple as finding the opposite correspondences; however, this is not common practice because, as mentioned earlier, the love potion continues to be considered a weak and volatile weapon with fleeting effects. Nevertheless, it has evolved into a new facet: its use for boosting self-esteem and self-love.
Pietro V. Carracedo Ahumada - pietrocarracedo@gmail.com
Bibliography:
-Kremet. Sexo y magia. Tratado práctico de magia sexual. Ed. Humanitas, 1995
-Luck, G. Arcana Mundi. Magic and the Occult in the Greek and Roman Worlds: A Collection of Ancient Texts. Johns Hopkins University Press, 2006
-Seaton, G. Love Spells - A Grimoire of Ancient Charms, Lore, and Ceremonies. Read Books Limited, 2024
-Urban, H. Magia Sexualis: Sex, Magic, and Liberation in Modern Western Esotericism. University of California Press, 2006
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> Strikarmani: Vedic Wome's Magic
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